Are You Getting Married? Here are some #tipsfromthewitch
Hello Magical Creatures,
Would you believe that for over fourteen years, I have been an ordained minister, with the ability to marry and sign certificates?
YES!
I had to do the math again, and I surprised myself when I updated my ordination and information this afternoon.
Near the end of May in 2022, I have a wedding to officiate, and I am so thrilled to be a part of this special occasion. I was very inspired by the call on the phone today to update my ordination, and unpack my box of materials that I use.
If you want to check out my page for ministerial and officiant services CLICK HERE
I am SO grateful to the Universal Life Church, and to Reverend Kirby J. Hensley. Who began the ULC (for short) as a way to unify all people of all backgrounds in the process of ministry and ordination. I have been certified and offering this gift since 2008, thanks to them!
I began my work in this field at first, when I lived in Ohio, and a gay couple wanted to do a hand fasting ceremony. Even though it was not legally recognized, the process was all the same, and it was a very special day. A year or two later, I got to officiate the house blessing and christening of a new home mixed with a wedding at a farmhouse in Michigan. From then on I officiated and documented signed certificates throughout my journeys across the United States.
The process sounds simple, and after many years, it feels like it is, but I know for most the steps to finalize can be daunting!
Every state requires different practices, and forms, but most states (like California) keep it pretty simple and straight forward. I am also lucky that I have a background that is full of excellent mentors, healers, and practitioners from different paths who also have officiated weddings.
I even know of a comedian who just recently did a wedding for some clients at the beach! He said during the ceremony he blurted out “This is a disaster!” when the wind picked up and blew his documents all over the beach. Luckily, they all had a sense of humor about the situation.
So yes, you don’t have to be a priest, a clergyman, a witch, a medicine healer, chaplain, or have any complicated title to marry or officiate for a couple. However, I highly recommend educating yourself on your state and county rules and requirements if you have a friend or loved one ask you to officiate for them. It really saves all parties involved time and money, and is pretty simple thanks to the internet.
Here are the beginning points for simplifying and having a memorable ceremony:
Do you have your marriage certificate already? Contact the county clerk in your area, or the local courthouse to get that process going.
Do you need any additional witnesses or documents from your officiant? They can also help you with this process (well, most SHOULD).
Decide as a couple, who (officiant) would best represent you, your values, and your ideals on the day of your union, and can lead your family, friends, and chosen close circle through the process.
Think about what type of ceremony you wish to have…Is it non denominational, secular, spiritual, or humanist? There are so many different approaches you can have to this based on your personal beliefs. Be sure to reach a mutual conclusion with your officiant.
Be clear about the location, day, time, and length of this process or your requests for updates and revisions
Do you want to share vows, or leave the whole experience up to the officiant? You should know that if you’re goin to exchange personal vows to either memorize them, or have them written down. Also, keep them balanced, and don’t be too wordy on one side or the other (Partner A vs. Partner B.) You should share equal amounts of dialogue or thought.
Rehearse with each other, and set up time to rehears with your officiant if you want to stay on a script and a strict schedule. Some people appreciate this, because it also feels like their time is being respected.
Keep your intentions clear, and your desires transparent with your officiant. As there should be no right or wrong way to discuss your needs.
HAVE FUN! Laughter, joy, and sharing these memories are key. Not everything has to be serious and sombre. If you want that, I do offer funerary rights and ceremony. Then again, even in death, we shouldn’t be so damn serious, right?
In terms of payment, this is up to the officiant typically if they charge a set fee for their services, which could also include mileage, lodging, meals, and time spent. Discuss these terms with your officiant, and if they have a contract it may or may not be negotiable.
((on this last one, I personally believe in a “pay what you can” or “pay what you think is fair” concept. Sometimes the partners families will chip in and donate a fair amount to the officiant as a gift, and other times the couple themselves will decide all the factors that go into payment for the officiant.))
Well, that’s it my magical friends! You better get your ass out there and start marrying people. Just don’t blame me if you enjoy it, and make a habit out of it. Or do?
If you need me, you know where to find me. Yes, I can, and I DO travel, and I can officiate out of state, but let’s have a conversation and see what works for all of us.
May the spirits guide you, protect you, and keep you.
Oh, and don’t marry someone if you’re a piece of shit.
xo
ZTW 2022