Depression & Spirituality -
Hello Magical Creatures,
When I first wrote the title of this, the negative, depressive part of my brain wanted to say “Depression & Being a BITCH”, but I know better, and now I’m getting these thoughts out.
I am not saying this little post encompasses ALL of my views or feelings right now, but it was what came to mind in this moment while writing for you.
Oh Depression…
It would be SO NICE if we could just wave a wand, say a mantra, and immediately banish it away.
Like many in the world, I have struggled with depression my entire life.
Or, at least for as long as I can remember.
I have a colorful variety of precursors and factors that accumulated over time, compounding a lot of the depressive issues as they emerged within and around me.
I struggled with self medicating behavior, and addictive issues for years on and off.
I Even got addicted to working out and being “healthy” for a long time.
The basis of what I have learned for myself, in regard to depression is that MY experience of it, is not going to be as severe or as minor as a stranger reading this.
The way I see my depression is that it is a “Dark storm cloud, looming in the background that can be dark grey, or a minor fluffy blue toned cloud, that blocks a little bit of sunlight from my day.” For a NORMAL person', It’s the idea that when we walk outside, we observe the weather, and we can acknowledge what it is for that day. Sunny, cloudy, windy, etc.
For a depressed person, the weather is very much a part of our mood, our ability to converse, the energy output we have available, and no matter how much we “look on the bright side” it can be physically and emotionally daunting to do the simplest of tasks.
Where does spirituality come into play with all of this?
Well, for me - it was the bridge that showed me two things.
I AM POWERFUL
yet,
I AM ALSO POWERLESS.
When I began therapy again later in life, I was reminded that sometimes “suffering'“ only has as much weight as we give it.
Life, on a daily basis can be broken down to a series of patterns, choices, and outcomes.
When I think of myself, and how far I’ve gone in my journey of depression, I am reminded of Sir Isaac Newton’s laws of motion.
Newton’s first law states that if a body is at rest or moving at a constant speed in a straight line, it will remain at rest or keep moving in a straight line at constant speed unless it is acted upon by a force.
When I apply it to MYSELF - I am reminded that when I focus solely on my sadness, and I don’t do even the simplest of tasks for my health and well being, I proceed deeper into that abyss. I have learned that I, myself have to be THE FORCE that motivates or moves me away from that straight line into sorrow.
2. Newton's Second Law of Motion says that acceleration (gaining speed) happens when a force acts on a mass (object).
So here we are, realizing that our little goals that we accomplish, or ability to push through, to persevere - THOSE are the forces moving us (the object). Sometimes, or most of the time with depression easier said than done, but NOT impossible.
3. Newton's third law states that when two bodies interact, they apply forces to one another that are equal in magnitude and opposite in direction. The third law is also known as the law of action and reaction.
What happens when we collide with a powerful force? What happens when we are inspired? Happy? What happens when we have a small victory or achievement, amidst the abyss of depression. It changes us! I think of all the force and momentum it has taken me in the past to just go outside and move my body to walk, but once I start going - OH MY GODDESS. I begin to feel the influence of the sun, the air, my feet on the ground, and it brings me back to life for a time.
The opposing forces and the action/reaction can apply to the people in your life too. If you are around people who constantly criticize you, but don’t offer constructive feedback or help - they probably aren’t the kind of opposing force that you need to get out of your depression. You need people who can empathize, and understand how to listen, or to offer you their hand in support.
Depression does not have ONE easy solution, but I know that it is not impossible to push back, and create changes with routine, and assistance.
Don’t judge yourself if you need therapy, medication, or to just take a break from engaging with the world sometimes.
Remember, you are as powerful as you allow yourself to believe you are.
So take that first step.
Be the force behind your growth and transformation.
I hope you become the alchemist, transforming lead into pure gold.
May the spirits guide you, protect you, and keep you.
xo
-ZTW 2022